Xianglin's Aquarium

  真是一亿年都没来了，上一篇日志还是去年这个时候在新加坡写的呢，由于回来校园网的缘故，msn就被废弃了。看看那些日志还都是新加坡的宝贵回忆，好有感触阿。姐姐的朋友这学期也去新加坡交流，说的那些地方自己太熟悉不过了，那种心情太能理解了，当时自己也是个奋青，觉得国内教学一无是处，现在一年多已经又回到这种制度中而麻木了。

  我喜欢这个地方，因为它清静。在新加坡的时候也喜欢在这写点什么。校内网我几乎不写东西，那个地方人多眼杂，每每心情不爽想发泄一下的时候都顾虑重重，删删减减的，生怕写错了什么。校内网就好比把你的日记贴得满校园都是，远的近的所谓好友加一大堆，谁都能看，看了想多了怎么办，关系又不好了什么的，讨厌那么复杂。大学真是是非之地，寝室更是。

最后一节文学tutorial了，老师太好了，上节课他说这节课有东西吃，我还以为跟上次一样的tea呢，是department办的，还跟别人炫耀了一番当english major就是好，英语系有钱！可是来了才知道不是这样的，是老师自己出钱请我们到coffee去吃东西！好不好意思哦，这时候想要是自己平时学习好点就好了，可是每次tutorial就只能拖后腿，太。。。简直想找个洞钻进去！而且老师自己也是学生，我们二十来个人吃下来怎么也要近一百新币阿。。。老师太伟大了！她还跑到我们每个人那里问我们吃什么，一个一个点，然后我们吃完了她又加，5555好感动哦，想想原来还因为我们老师打分比别的tutor低说她太严格了呢。。。

最后一篇文学的essay也发了，虽然跟上次的分数也差不了多少，可是最令我高兴的是除了grammar, sentence structure这些硬伤还是有点问题，还是有进步的（不过也可能是到期末了老师评改不认真了？）

我们是如果well done, OK 就是勾，acceptiable, but could be better 就是圈，problem, needs improving 就是叉。以前我的organization不是叉就是圈，简直乱七八糟，由于最后一篇的痛苦挣扎，终于是勾了（笑），还有以前的除了orginality, length, on time这些无关紧要的是勾，其他什么coherent argument, transition, comprehension of sources...的都是圈或介于圈叉之间，现在都是勾了，哈哈（狂喜），其实也都是自我安慰罢了，比起他们local的文章还差的远呢，他们至少在grammar上什么早都不是问题了，有同学说得好，他们的文章在国内都不是当范文的，都是当阅读的，狂晕。。。

 

昨天是生平第一次献血，我却献给了新加坡！

其实以前一直惧怕献血，因为太多负面新闻，本来是好心救人，却落到自己悲惨的地步真是太可怜了:(所以一直拒绝跟外界有血液接触。可是这一次我觉得新加坡红十字会跟学校一起组织应该比较正规吧，而且献一下血自己一阵子就可以恢复过来了，却说不定可以挽救那个未曾谋面人的生命，也是人生非常有意义的事情，大家有难都需要别人帮助，自己没有那么多财力不能捐献什么希望小学，尽自己微薄的力量积善行德吧。

由于从来没有过，所以当然有点紧张，而且去了以后还犹豫了一下，因为国内第一次献血只能献200ml，一般每人最多也就献400ml，可是我第一次就献了。。。450ml，吓得妈妈紧张心疼得不得了:(可能是新加坡人太少了，就需要多“压迫”一下正常人吧？！觉得来新加坡学习没学好，做了件好事也算美好回忆。。。姐姐说为什么不献给中国？其实首先国际友谊，救哪里的人不是救，二是其实自己还是。。。看到中国的献血车。。。哪敢上去，恐怖死了！

这几天要好好休息了，发了补铁的药了，按时吃。

kamille别担心我，我很快就会好起来的:)

最后谢谢阿布的关注

借用这个题目，是因为这曾经是我最喜欢的韩剧，也可以说是真正的爱情启蒙剧，当年的演员早已退出舞台成为了生活中的无名小卒，有时候真不禁想知道他们的生活是否因为演了这么一部婚姻剧而有所改变。不要再看青春偶像剧，绝对是爱情的误导。

并不想发表对爱情的什么高深的想法，只想纪录我的成长感想。昨天跟妈妈聊天的时候说我发现我活这么大真是一个单纯的白痴，想当年就知道学习了，都没有早恋积累一点恋爱经验，真是个十足的乖小孩。其实上了大学后就发现了自己阅历的空白，确切地说是惨白。很搞笑得是，难道我天生长着一张早恋的脸？周围所有人都不相信我没谈过恋爱。我当时觉得男女生之间那种朦胧的暧昧关系是最甜蜜的感觉，在我的价值观里爱情是开往婚姻的地铁，既要达到幸福的终点又要享受沿途的风光，又好像人的左右手，离开了任何一个，另一方都不会完成精美的作品，因此在没有能力面对婚姻的时候，爱情显得那么肤浅跟危险。我从来也不相信婚姻是爱情的坟墓，虽然我知道拿到结婚证那一刻心理变化的必然，但至少我希望我的婚姻，即便是几十年后，除了亲情还有爱情的温暖。

可是男女相处之道可能是唯一一种永远不会有百科全书的东西，一个爱情的厨师，把握火候真是最艰难的工作。彼此都不认真的爱情只是游戏，女的认真男的不认真的爱情注定是悲剧，男的认真女的儿戏的爱情是悲喜剧，男女都认真的爱情是。。。永远都写不完的剧。

一直都在认真学习，即使这不像一个单词或者一本书那样容易掌握。。。记得有话说得好：

If you are unhappy with your relationship, you probably feel that you're not getting as much as you are giving. Marriage is a 60/60 proposition. Each person has to to a little more than what he thinks his share is.

爱在于永远比得到的多奉献一点！

Reader's Digest 上一篇良好婚姻每天要做的三十三件事的文章也着实让我获益匪浅。告诉自己既然自己是白痴，就努力学习！

1. Say thank you at least once a day. You thank others for the little courtesies they do you. But do you thank your partner for his or hers? If she makes you breakfast every morning, thank her -- and mean it. (How many wives make such a loving gesture?) If he took out the trash without your asking, thank him -- even if it's his job. Saying, "Thanks!" once a day can help you avoid taking each other for granted.

2. Praise your partner for the little things. If there's something you appreciate about your partner, from the way she makes scrambled eggs to how hard he's working on the kitchen-remodeling project, speak up! Praising your partner reminds him (or her) that you love him (or her), and knowing you are loved makes you more willing to iron out differences.

3. Do small kindnesses for your partner. The good we do tends to come back to us. When you're thoughtful to your partner, she's more inclined to be thoughtful in return. So pick up each other's favorite dessert, clip or e-mail articles you think your spouse might like, make a favorite dinner, take on the other's chores, give your spouse a day off with no chores or expectations.

4. Deliver on your promises. Failing to keep your word can destroy the unity and trust in a relationship. It's better to say, "Let me think about it" than say you will do something but drop the ball.

5. Play a game of show and tell. Though it sounds X-rated, what we're suggesting is that you and your partner take turns choosing an arts or cultural event to attend together each month. The point is to show your partner what you love, so that he/she can experience it as you do (or close enough). To make this work, both of you have to be flexible: You may have to attend the Saturday-night race at the local dirt track, and he may have to go to the community theater with you. But the reward lies in experiencing each other's delight and sharing something of yourselves with each other. And who knows -- you may have a lot more fun than you ever imagined.

6. Kiss under a full moon. On a gorgeous evening, spread a blanket under the night sky and drink in the beauty and quiet of your surroundings together. You can talk if you wish, or simply savor the silence and being together, side by side, under the stars.

7. Make a fun, flirty change to your appearance. Want to make him sit up and take notice? Color your hair, wear lipstick if you normally don't, or wear a pretty nightie to bed instead of your flannel pajamas. Want her to suddenly get the urge to run her fingers over your chest? Try a sexy black shirt or unusually tight trousers. The simplest change in your appearance can show your partner you care enough to catch his/her eyes, helping rekindle the chemistry that brought you together in the first place.

8. Play the newlywed game. Do something for your partner that you did when you were newlyweds. Bake him a batch of homemade brownies. Send her flowers after a night of lovemaking. Tuck little notes into his briefcase or leave sexy messages on her voice mail.

9. Have a conversation about the big things in life. When you were courting, did you talk for hours about current events or the meaning of life? If all you seem to talk about now is the grocery list or how much to spend on a new sofa, reintroduce meaningful conversation into your relationship. Asking her about her day isn't enough. Try this: One night while you're in front of the TV or in the car, make a provocative (but not hurtful) remark about something your partner deeply cares about -- the guy in the White House, a favorite sports team -- something that will get his/her dander up. He'll disagree, of course, which will get the ball rolling. Keep it rolling!

10. Develop a common interest. The couple that play together, stay together. To keep your relationship fresh and vibrant, think of an activity that both you and your partner enjoy, and do it together. The possibilities are endless: gardening, sports, attending classes or cultural events together, walking, hiking, working on home projects. How to get your partner to join you? Be sneaky. Say you need his/her help in the garden, want to do minor remodeling to the bathroom, that a friend just happened to give you two tickets to whatever. Chances are, he/she will have a wonderful time and want to do it again. In time, it may become a regular part of your life together.

11. Do service projects together. Giving to others moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life. Again, try to pick a service or organization that appeals to you both, whether it's a mentoring program for disadvantaged youth or working weekends in the local soup kitchen.

12. Rekindle your spirituality. If you're both interested in spiritual or religious activities, try some religious study together. If you both pray, praying together can be extremely intimate. Same goes for meditation or other spiritual or religious rituals.

13. Get active together. Are you both a few pounds heavier than when you first met? Engaging in a physical activity that you both enjoy can be as good for your marriage as it is for your body, and can reinforce the fact that you're a team of two. You needn't run a marathon together (although training for one could provide a lot of couple time). How about tennis? Golf? Swimming? Even gardening can be a workout, if you're landscaping the yard or tending a large flower or vegetable garden.

14. Set movie night once a month. All right, so he loves sci-fi and action, while you prefer romantic comedies. She is strictly chick-flick and you're super hero. Doesn't matter. To find common ground, select movies for the characters, not the genre. For example, in The English Patient, one gets espionage and adventure; the other gets a love story. In Jerry Maguire, there's football for one, Tom Cruise for the other. And if he wants to have a John Wayne film festival, gently direct him toward shoot-'em-ups that appeal to women, such as The Last of the Mohicans, starring Daniel Day-Lewis.

15. Each morning, ask, "What's on your agenda today?" Does he have a big meeting? Is she dreading a phone call to an important client? Is she having lunch with an old friend? Talking about the daily details of your lives is just as important as sharing hopes, dreams, and fears, so asking about those details is a great way to build understanding and rapport. And don't forget to ask how that meeting, phone call, or lunch turned out. Your thoughtfulness will make your partner feel loved and cared for

16. Treat your spouse with respect and admiration in public. Whether you're at a party, a business meeting, or just strolling down the street, give him or her subtle signals of your connection. Hold his hand. Smile at her. Put your arm around her. And never, ever, make fun of your partner in public.

17. Walk out your disagreements. When you and your partner are at odds, ask him if he'd like to go for a walk to hash things out. Being outdoors and walking at a steady pace can melt away the tension so it's easier to talk honestly, form compromises, or apologize.

18. Learn -- and use -- the Serenity Prayer. When you see his towel on the floor instead of in the hamper, resist the urge to complain. While it's understandably irritating, it will undoubtedly happen again...and again...and again. When you start to sweat the small stuff, recite the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." You'll be amazed at how quickly your resentment melts away.

19. Give your demands a makeover. You want him to hang a shelf? Mow the lawn? Asking her to throw in a load of laundry? Make sure you ask, rather than demand. We all tend to respond better to requests than orders. For example, instead of saying, "You should...," say, "Could you...?" And instead of saying, "Why didn't you...?" say, "Next time it would help me if you could try to..."

20. Try to air grievances at the same time each week. We know what you're thinking -- who would do this? But consider this: If you and your partner discuss what's bothering you in a structured, formal way, these issues won't come up so often at other times, and if they do, you'll be able to discuss them more calmly. One more thing: Make the meeting formal. Sit down, turn off the television, and let the answering machine pick up calls.

21. Cuddle in the morning. You may associate snuggling with bedtime, and it is a lovely way to end the day. But cuddling in the morning will keep you feeling close to each other all day. So set the alarm clock five minutes early and snuggle. You can talk, or not. What's important is that you both start the day connecting physically and feeling secure and loved.

22. Schedule time for lovemaking. Yes, you're both busy. But don't let your schedules stand in the way of an activity that's so crucial to a loving, intimate relationship. The lovemaking may not be as spontaneous as you'd prefer, but there's something nice about looking forward to a night (or morning, or afternoon) of sex.

23. Always turn in together. This may take some compromise on both your parts. If your partner is dead tired, give up your nightly ritual (television, surfing the Internet, whatever) and follow him to bed at least a few nights a week. Talk about the day, or simply snuggle while each of you reads. And if you're the morning person, maybe you can stay up to watch the eleven o'clock news. The point is, you're together when the house is quiet and the demands of the day are done. Make the most of it!

24. Make sure your bedroom is a sanctuary. Your bed is not the place to argue, or bring up complicated subjects, or discuss difficult parenting issues. Your bed is a place for good things only -- sleep, companionship, romance. If it becomes a place for hard talks and critiques, one of you will eventually feel your bedroom is emotionally unsafe, and you'll start to avoid each other. If this is already going on, you need to stop it -- declare the bedroom a safe zone, and that all serious discussions are to take place earlier and elsewhere.

25. Pursue your own interests. Go ahead, take that writing class -- or pursue any other interest you might have outside of those you share with your partner. It makes you more interesting to your partner and everyone else. Moreover, a little "me time" allows both you and your partner to grow as individuals and reduces the pressure on each of you to fill the other's every need.

26. Have a regular girls' (or boys') night out. Every woman needs time with other women, just as every man needs a night out with the guys. If it's been a while since you've connected with friends or relatives, get on the phone and start arranging a day -- or night -- spent in their company.

27. Take a weekend getaway. If you present the idea to your partner as an adventure, he'll be more inclined to get into the act. Once you've gotten him excited, the fun begins: deciding where you'll go, what you'll do, and how you'll get there. And to make sure he's invested in the idea, let him in on the planning. Pore over maps and the travel section of the newspaper together. Discuss whether you should splurge on a room with a hot tub or a fireplace.

28. Renew your vows. Renewing your vows renews your commitment not only to your partner but also to keeping passion and intimacy in your relationship. You can do it once a year by taking a romantic getaway on your anniversary or make it a once-in-lifetime event.

29. Write him a love letter or send her a love e-mail. Don't worry that you're "not a writer" -- be simple and sincere, rather than trying too hard to be romantic. On simple but good-quality stationery, describe to your partner how he/she makes you feel. Mention specific qualities he/she possesses that you appreciate, or little quirks you find endearing. Recall your past times together and describe your hopes for the future. Slip the letter into an envelope and tuck it in a briefcase or purse. (Just be careful your partner doesn't pull it out at an important business meeting.) If your partner is the type to snort at a love letter, send an e-mail at work.

30. Read the comics out loud to each other and share funny stories from your day. A 2004 study found that sharing humorous experiences significantly reduced the amount of conflict couples felt.

31. Go shopping (or watch a ball game) with a close friend. One study found that couples who have individual friendships outside their marriage were more satisfied with their marital relationships than those who didn't.

32. Demonstrate your love by working to improve something about yourself that bugs your partner. For instance, if she prefers you thin, join the gym or take up a nightly walk (preferably with her). If he's a neat freak, stop throwing your dirty socks on the floor and leaving your dishes in the sink. Saying "I love you" is always nice, but showing it is really fundamental.

33. Always put your marriage first, even if you have a houseful of kids. This is a golden rule: Of all your relationships, your spouse always comes first. After all, the kids are going to leave someday soon; hopefully, your partner isn't. Plus, giving up your life as a couple to indulge your children simply sets an uninspiring example: Grow up, become an adult, then you, too, can subjugate your existence to that of your children. Putting your marriage first means things like deliberately setting aside time for the two of you, whether it's a weekly date, a nightly bath together, or dinner alone a few nights a week (feed the kids early).

 

看完很感动，很有收获，他同样适用于爱情。

《人鱼小姐》是另一部我很喜欢的韩剧，虽然是一部悲剧，可是却是生活的老师。

 

 

 

 

昨天去了新加坡最有名的夜间动物园，由于回来的太晚，就只有今天补上了。

要想看到动物原貌可千万不要只一两个人来，因为只有徒步穿越恐怖阴森的森林小径才能近距离得仔细观察，要是一两个人，就需要相当的勇气跟方向感了。最好是有红外望远镜，因为大黑天的煞是考验眼力呢，不然就只能看到轮廓或者移动的大型物体了。

因为一行十人，所以我这种方向盲就只要夹在队伍中间跟着走就行了，到一处停下来拍个照片什么的。说道照片才郁闷呢，为了保护动物跟自己的安全（不伤害它们的眼睛，也不激怒它们）所以闪光灯是禁用的，这样照相的难度不知加大了多少，我尽量不动还是很难照好。。。哎，就这样吧。

看到了很多特别奇怪的动物，可能因为他们只在晚上活动，所以白天的动物园是看不到的。比如胡须猪，你都想象不出来它其实是巨大的胖胖的动物，比猪不知道大几倍，还有鹿猪？！呵呵，也很奇怪。还有鼠鹿，叫鹿其实比像兔子那么大，长得酷似老鼠。还有零距离感受一下蝙蝠。。。恩，其实最可爱的是眼睛猴，可是它太害羞，不出来，我们就只有看录像了。

看了动物表演，对动物没留下深刻的印象，倒是特别喜欢那个主持人（晕吧），口语很好呢，还特幽默，呵呵。

本来出来的时候看中了一个tiger的毛绒玩具，真是可爱死了，可是太贵了。。。对了，我们一进门还看见一个大型鱼缸，马上跑过去看，其实是toilet，尴尬死了。。。

虽然没有想象中的那么好，可是能有这样的体验已经很值得了！

最近学了五十音图，完全是初学者，呵呵，什么都不会，也不太用功，多亏了旸旸老师教得好又有耐心，呵呵，好开心！